love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Even my vagina gasped.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
