it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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