Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think my vagina is haunted
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Randomize
