I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
