It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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