the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ttyl tear gas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
