I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
