If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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