You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is wine microwaveable?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
