I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
