Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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