Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You can't special order awesome
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
