i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm both gender and math confused
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize