So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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