he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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