He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
