Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
