I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
