Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
