I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
