it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
