Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
