She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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