I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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