I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
