I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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