We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
