oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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