The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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