I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
