We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
