How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
