Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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