She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
