Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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