They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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