i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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