Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
