I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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