I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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