Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
