There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
