dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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