OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
