things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize