I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
