Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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