Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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