They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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