Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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