no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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