I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
