Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
