He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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