She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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