i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize