He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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