I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize