bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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