I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
