Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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