when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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